ALWAYS SEARCHING

I'm sitting here at home, off work for Presidents Day, thinking of my search. I have spent a LOT of time searching...for the right way to do things...the way to dress...to act...to be the kind of Mom I knew I could be... to be a good friend...for the right career...for the right way to decorate my house...even for the right husband! I have accomplished a few of those things. The Mom thing and the husband. But as I sit here in my little living room(that has four lamps that don't match, furniture that is not quite right, too many pictures of all the people that I love, and lots of dog hair), and I am happy. My life has been on the "odd" side...I never do anything the easy way. But somehow I have wound up with a job that pays good, a home that is full of love, gorgeous, smart children, grandchildren that I adore, a husband that I love more than I ever thought possible and who is my best friend, great relationships with my sister and brother, nieces and nephews that have little pieces of all things good, and a slew of friends.

Yet I still feel the need to search. I want to learn. I want to travel. I want to spend more time with my husband. I want to spend more time with my grand children. I want a NEW house with land for my animals. All things I want. Do I need them. No. I need to heal myself. I need to be there for my husband everyday. I need a home and clothes and a job. And I have all those. I need love and care. I have those. I have more than I deserve. And I AM thankful for it all. Really , I am.

But the search goes on!